Education secretary Michael Gove has announced the coalition’s most ambitious policy to date. In an attempt to raise success rates across high schools in England London
“Seeing these spiky haired gum chewing monkey’s battle for crumby commission will instill fear into our teenagers”, Gove will enunciate in a speech later today. “ If they don’t read Shakespeare and study Toynbee they’ll realise they will end up with no value to add to society and no fulfilment to derive from their daily existence. They’ll spend their lives skimming LinkedIn profiles, leaving voice mails and re-writing CV’s for accountants who have the grammatic ability of dyslexic BNP thugs".
We attempted to ask deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg for his opinion but during our conversation he was repeatedly disrupted by cold calling recruiters asking if he knew any idiots stupid enough to take mind numbing product control jobs. “Try Osborne”, is all we could get out of him. We’re certain he wasn’t talking to us.
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