I called a meeting with my subordinates yesterday. I asked them to name me the best candidate in their respective fields, Corporate Finance, Finance Change and Product Control. All 3 of the dimwits (they’re recruitment consultants after all, I wasn’t expecting much) remained silent. I asked again, with arms crossed staring at the Pepsi slurping, jelly bean chewing timewasters, less than a year out of uni. “Fine”, I said, “what’s the name you hear the most about in your area”. One clever clog told me all he ever hears on the other end of the phone is “F**K Off”. The other two nodded in agreement like conformist c***s.
So there we have it. Apparently there is only one candidate in the City of London. His name is “F**K Off”. He is a bit of a busy body multi tasker. According to my retarded team he works in Front Office & Middle Office for all the banks in the City at the same time. “F**K Off” is everywhere. He’s the last candidate left in the banking market.
The race is on to headhunt this guy. Are you up for the competition?
If you pick up the phone, ask for the name of the candidate you are speaking to and are told “F**k Off”, you should consider yourself lucky in this post credit crunch- on the verge of a double dip- investment banking recruitment market.
Good luck.
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