What do you call a loser with no ambition? A recruitment consultant. I heard this joke being shared by two corporate financiers on the train home. The sad thing is, its not a joke, it’s the heart stopping truth for all underpaid post 28 year olds spending the majority of their lives on phones to people who hang up on them.
If I could go back in time I’d have worked harder at school, gone to a proper university, earned a better grade and done something meaningful with my life. Something which provided decent money, autonomy and at least an inkling of satisfaction.
People have been saying a lot of things about me recently on internet forums and I’d like to give you a bit of context to explain why I might come across as “insulting and arrogant”, “a hypocrite”, “tasteless”, an “arrogant ignoramus”, a“dumbo”,“a pathetic creature”, “an embarrassment”, “disgruntled, emotive and disillusioned”, “dismal”, “unprofessional” a “dead head”, a “plonker”, a “bitter failure”, an” idiot”, a “pratt”, a “weener” and “crass”. I am all these things because that’s what 8 years in recruitment has done to me.
8 years of lying and being lied to. 8 years of micro management. 8 years of working a job that makes me feel like a manic depressive. 8 years of being treated like a sweat shop labourer by short fat women who take out their anger at not being able to give up chocolate on me. 8 years of being surrounded by the residue of polytechnics and failed artists. 4 years of being very successful at my job and 4 years of being an unproductive waste of space who does everything under the sun to get fired but is never let go by my desperate bosses. 8 years of wishing I’d accidentally overdose on lithium and wake up in hell to avoid having to go to work.. 8 years of being a closet Lib Dem supporter then having spineless Nasty Nick spit in my face after licking David Cameron’s shoes. 8 years of...misery I think sums it up best.
If I could go back in time I’d have worked harder at school, gone to a proper university, earned a better grade and done something meaningful with my life. Something which provided decent money, autonomy and at least an inkling of satisfaction.
People have been saying a lot of things about me recently on internet forums and I’d like to give you a bit of context to explain why I might come across as “insulting and arrogant”, “a hypocrite”, “tasteless”, an “arrogant ignoramus”, a“dumbo”,“a pathetic creature”, “an embarrassment”, “disgruntled, emotive and disillusioned”, “dismal”, “unprofessional” a “dead head”, a “plonker”, a “bitter failure”, an” idiot”, a “pratt”, a “weener” and “crass”. I am all these things because that’s what 8 years in recruitment has done to me.
8 years of lying and being lied to. 8 years of micro management. 8 years of working a job that makes me feel like a manic depressive. 8 years of being treated like a sweat shop labourer by short fat women who take out their anger at not being able to give up chocolate on me. 8 years of being surrounded by the residue of polytechnics and failed artists. 4 years of being very successful at my job and 4 years of being an unproductive waste of space who does everything under the sun to get fired but is never let go by my desperate bosses. 8 years of wishing I’d accidentally overdose on lithium and wake up in hell to avoid having to go to work.. 8 years of being a closet Lib Dem supporter then having spineless Nasty Nick spit in my face after licking David Cameron’s shoes. 8 years of...misery I think sums it up best.
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